| As some of you may have read, yes I am grounded from speaking to Kitty. Though Mom, you may not believe me, or you may say that I am just repeating what you said, I understand why you grounded me. I should not have spoken to you like that, whether I felt good or not. It was wrong of me, you didn't deserve it. I am sorry for saying that you went looking through my stuff again. Whether Darkstarlings.com keeps me logged in or not, I should not have gotten upset. You are my MOTHER, not my sister, my brother, or just a friend. Your are my MOTHER, whichs gives you right to so through my things until the day I turn 18, and I have no right to get upset when you do so. I need to learn my place, and to learn where I stand until October 18, 2007. I apologize for argueing with you, and for dissing your rights as my mother.
Friends, and siblings, I know this post doesn't sound like me. And many of you may think I am just using the same old tactic of playing their game to get what I want. Well, I'm not. Though I do not show it around many of you, I have grown up A LOT since the beginning of last year. Just want you guys to remember that your parents love you, they don't ground you over bad grades, or say you can't go to a party becuase your chores aren't done to hurt you. They do it becuase they love you, and they want to teach you right form wrong. So you can make it on your own in that hard adult life. Though I am FAR from being an adult, watching Kitty become one, quickly in some ways and slow in others, I have recieved a glimpse of what it is like. What it is like to have no transportation to school when it's about 8 (if not more) miles away. I have recieved a glimpse of what it is like to not have a job at the most crucial time when money is needed. I have seen what it is like to not have the financial needs in life, even when the love that you may never have had before is there. Love is good. Love is a need in everyone's life. I know that, that is why I love everyone of my friends and family, some more than others, and some in different ways. Though material items are not everything, some material items are important. For example, the blanket I recieved nine years ago from my grandmother is extremely important to me. It is so sentimental to me, that it is a need for me. But, the champagne glasses I bought at a garage sale for a quarter each, are simply a glass shaped specail that, though they may have been special to someone else, and were sold because the family may have needed money, they are a material item to me that could be replaced. Just becuase life hands you a giant bag of chocolate, doesn't mean you have to eat it all by yourself. You don't even have to eat any of it. You can give it to a girlfriend who currently is going through a major break up with their boyfriend, or a homeless man, who ordinarily wouldn't get that fine of a treat. You can give love to anyone. But, many financial needs cannot be met with love. It has taken me many years to understand this. But, now that I do, I am beginning to see life differently. And, though I know it is something I must do, as does everyone, I am afraid in many way to grow up. But, having the wisdom, and knowing how to do the basic things, like cook, and handle money properly, will help me when I do step into the adult world, and live on my own.
Just remember that I love you all. And I hope to watch many of you grow up alone with me. Mom, once again, I apologize for acting the way I did, and for how I have acted in the past. I am sorry for ruining your trust factor, and pray that I can bring it back to the way it was at point in time. Kitty, I love you sweetheart, and always will. And all my close friends, and aquaintances as well, may you be safe on your journeys, and know you have a shoulder to cry on, when you need it.
Love Always,
Sammy |
